LA MAMI JESIKA

Dear Love of my life,

I think only i know who you are, and i am the only person that has accepted you. You’ve done so much to me in my life. We had been through so much together, and you knew me better than just about anyone. You resented me, as I you, and harmed me more than anybody ever has. Words can’t describe the hopeless pain I feel towards you and yet you are someone who is so important to me. You betrayed me, you insulted me, you lied to me. You claimed things that were far from the truth, and after each lie I believed you countless times. All I ever wanted was to be happy. Have my best friend the love of my life next to me. I wish I didn’t hate you. I wish I didn’t feel what I feel.

It’s my fault too, you know. I shouldn’t have allowed your words to penetrate me like they did. I shouldn’t have believed you… But I did what i felt i needed to do. I stood by you, i made the choice to believe you to over look all the signs. i stay for the one good thing you did and. not leave for all your mistakes.

I don’t understand how a person can completely cut off communications. Usually, as a respect to the other person, I would give them explanations as to why I’m feeling uncomfortable to continue the communication/friendship/whatever.

If you couldn’t give me that bit of respect, then you never really valued me as much as I valued you. And for me to feel so distraught over this is just stupid.